So after an emotional few days we’ve talked some more in a surprisingly civilised manner and we’ve decided to see if we can share a house as friends and stay in a family unit. I have to admit that it was me that pushed for this but I know it won’t be easy. Every day I’ll have to see the man I love and know he no longer feels the same.
It will be incredibly lonely, it will be heart breaking, but it will mean that our children can be happy, they will live with both parents and they will have the financial support of us both.
It may be selfish of me but it also means that if this works out, I won’t have to miss out on my children’s lives, on birthdays, occasions, Christmas. I feel like this is my last chance to keep my children in their bubble, to protect their innocence.
I’m not sure if it will work, or how long it can last but I feel I owe it to myself to try. If I don’t, what’s the alternative? I will feel like we are ripping apart the life our children know, their comfortable, safe existence to dump them in the unknown. A place where I don’t have any answers, only questions and they certainly aren’t happy ones.